“Hii ndio the weirdest request nishaipata from anyone…”

“I’m so sorry I asked, tunaeza assume I never asked urudi kwako tu kabla afike…”

“Naah,nishacome… either way my life needs some drama,nimeboeka sana…”

“Haha, I hope me asking for such a weird favour won’t make it awkward later tukipitana kwa stairs…”

“Acha kwanza huyu dame yako afike alafu tuone ameamua kukuvuruga aje leo”

“Acha kumuita dame yangu…”

“Alijuaje kwako kama si wewe ulimleta…na si nimewaona mara kadhaa mkikunywa chai hapa kwa balcony after mmetupigia kelele usiku mzima”

“Sijaleta huyo msichana huku since last month,sitaki kumaliziwa vyombo…”

“Huwa mnanibamba tu…hamwezi argue kama hamvunji vikombe… na kwanza mnapenda kuzivunja kama tumelala”

“It’s complicated… alafu kuna wig fulani iko hapa anasemanga anaikujia tu…hii ni mara ya tatu ameikujia sasa”

They both stare at each other for a second before bursting out with laughter.

“Wait, so leo unataka afike kaa amerudi ama…”

“Eeh, kinda…I need to get rid of hii excuse ya wig, ata sijui anaiachanga aje”

“Sindiiio…cause if it was that important to her hangeiacha all those times…how come you guys have been doing everything else other than what she came for… ama we ndio unamwitanga na unaekelea wig”

“What? No…actually tumekosana all the 3 times amekam huku… na yeye ndio aliinsist akuje all the 3 times”

“Haha, hii toxicity yenu ndio imewachanganya…kwani mlikutana club”

“Zi,niliacha kuchipo mastranger…nshaiekewa pishori nkatii”

Marion’s belly laugh fills the room as she wipes off tears from the corners of her eyes. Kelvin pours more juice into the two glasses on the table, a silly grin on his face.

“So huyu mlikutana wapi?”

“Kwa mind your head…”

“Huko ni wapi?”

“Hujui hutu tufast food joint twa tao huwa tumeandikwa ‘mind your head’ … alafu kuna kastatue ka polisi hapo kwa entrance”

“Aah,oooh…si ungesema Sonford”

“Haikuwa Sonford, but you get the point…tulikuwa tumeenda uko na maboyz kufinya kuku after tumetoka dunda saa tisa”

“Wait… so uliacha kuchipo madem club but you’re still picking girls Sonford saa tisa usiku,huoni shida wewe?”

“Nilikushow hio place haikuwa Sonford…”

Kelvin’s phone pings. Silence.

“Ata ni yeye anatext…ndio amepanda gari tao anakam”

“Hio wig anakujia unajua mahali iko ata?”

“Eeh, mahali tu uko bedroom…”

“Probably the fact that hujui mahali iko exactly ndio inafanya ashinde akiikujia…”

Kelvin chuckles and sips his juice.

“Aai, kwani unataka nikae nayo hapa kwa kiti afike kaa nimempea hapo kwa mlango”

“Eeh, ama kuna kitu ingine unataka kumpea na hujaniambia?”

“Haha,zi… but I feel like it would be rude of me…acha afike akae kidogo ata atoe baridi na chai”

“Inaonekana uliniita tukunywe chai basi…”

“Not necesarrily, sitaki tu adhani anaeza spend the night huku”

“Na akikuuliza mimi ni nani utamwambia?”

“Kwanza anauliza as who? And why?”

His phone rings, startling them. They both stare at it for a while.

“Si uchukue simu kabla dame yako apitishwe”

“Nilikuambia si… hello? Ushafika? Oh..zi,apana,si apo…eeh, stage next…niko busy kidogo siezi toka…panda nduthi tu, si nilikushow huku hakuna haja ya cab”

Marion stands and changes seats, sitting a few feet from Kelvin.

“Mbona umeamua kukaa mbali hivo?”

“Kwani unataka mgeni wako akae wapi… na si pia unataka atoe baridi na chai kabla achukue kenye anachukua?”

“Nilikuwa nasema tu, ata sina hio maziwa ya chai”

“Btw why don’t you want her to stay around…you clearly like her kama ulimchipo base ya chipo”

“Haha, anakaa fiti eeh lakini joh! Akona pressure zingine tu sidai”

“Kama?”

“Nikianza kulist red flags sai atafika kama sijamaliza”

“Sema moja basi”

He stares into space for a moment, as if deciding whether the beans are worth spilling.

“Kuna time tulicheza truth or dare akanidare nimpee simu yangu apitie inbox…it was supposed to be for like half a minute or sth…”

“Usiniambie ulikubali”

“I did, zangu zilikuwa zimeshika… huskii niliamka the next day nikapata alitext madame wengine apo ati nimeoa na wasiwai nitext tena, alitext hadi colleagues bana”

A sharp knock disrupts their conversation. Kelvin gives Marion a confused look.

“Kwani sikuizi gate haifungagwi?”

“Ni kama…ebu angalia kama ni yeye ako kwa mlango”

Kelvin steals a glance through the windowpanes before opening the door.

“Ingiza tu viatu, usiziache apo”

A young woman walks in with sandals in her hands as she scans the room through squinted eyes. Her eyes land on Marion.

“Haiya,hukuniambia ukona mgeni, ningekam siku ingine”

She taps Marion lightly on the shoulder.

“Sasa mrembo… na ukona dredi poaa…”

“Poa sana, thanks…”

Kelvin excuses himself and disappears into one of the rooms, leaving the ladies alone. The silence in the room is pregnant with awkwardness. Marion has been staring at her phone since Kelvin’s guest arrived.

“Alafu…unaitwa?”

“Marion…wewe?”

“My friends call me Meg… Kev didn’t tell you my name?”

“Hatujakuongelelea ata”

“Ooh…nlikuwa napitia tu nichukue some personal belongings…for how long have you two known each other?”

“Not long”

“Ooh”

“Yea…”

Kelvin returns with what looks like a wig in his hand. He places it on Meg’s lap and stands beside her.

“Si ni hii ile wig ulikuwa unasema?”

“I guess, but I also wanted to talk to you about something… and it’s personal”

Meg stares up at him as she runs her index finger down his arm.

“Kwani leo huskii baridi?”

“Naskia lakini I have other things to do…Tunaeza ongea kwa simu tu, hakuna shida”

Meg frowns and sighs heavily. Marion squirms on the couch, visibly uncomfortable.

“Acha niendee kitu hapa kwangu nakuja” Marion interjects.

“Tungojee ata tunatoka si wote nikizindikisha Meg, ashachukua kenye alikuwa anakujia”

Meg’s face swells with disappointment. She pops her bag open, fits her wig in then quickly checks her makeup on a small mirror in the bag. Kelvin opens the door and the midday sunlight pours in.

“Twende kabla jua ya saa saba itupate apa…si upigie huyo msee wa nduthi mwenye alikuleta”

“Sina number yake…”

“Ulilipa na?”

“Mpesa”

“Chukua number hapo kwa text ya mpesa basi”

“Lakini si…sawa tu,hakuna shida”

Meg stands, adjusting her tiny, black dress. Her perfume has permeated Kelvin’s living room, clearly oblivious of its owner’s disappointment. She surely does smell good for a person that only came over for a wig. Marion is probably wondering why the hell she subscribed to this, but Kelvin is hell-bent on sticking to his guns. They all walk out, a padlock in Kelvin’s hand.

“So umesema when can we talk privately?”

“Nitext ukifika home, alafu tutajua”