I saw your photo the other day, you still can turn heads alright. It felt like I was staring at a beautiful, familiar stranger. Like I had known you from a past life but never met you in the current. But we both know where we’ve been, how our excitement for each other drew the unseen out of us, both the gentle and ferocious in equal measure.
I also noticed that you’re still wearing that ankle bracelet I made you from my broken necklace. I’m surprised you kept it, must have really loved it, huh? Does it grip your leg like I gripped your neck? Do you touch it while you’re playing with yourself and think of me? Does the man you’re with now like it on you? Or is it a reminder of what you crave but will never have again? I get it, you were my drug too because I did you all night for a very long time…not to say the silly Karaokes we did high as kites, and the nights we made love on rooftops and memories in clubs. We were two deluded lovers living in our own world and didn’t even realize it.
But I was wrong for you then, too hot-headed to even love myself right. I thought I understood perfectly what was best for me, but losing you like that proved me wrong. And I’m not saying all this to justify what I did, far from that. Maybe I’m just a wild bull that can’t be domesticated; but being with you showed me glimpses of the other side. Glimpses of what fairy tales talk about. Because for a while there, you were the symphony that harmonized the noises in my head. And I somehow still listen to you to this day because, the memories we made are stamps on time that speak to the parts of me you helped heal.
So go on, go on and find what I couldn’t give to you. Find someone who’s not afraid to love you like you want to be loved, for I was too lost in my head to see us through your eyes. I on the other hand will continue living a fugitive’s life, running from those that shower me with affection because letting my guard down broke me more than it built me. Haha, I know, can’t teach an old dog new tricks. I also hope you never lose that anklet, by the way, Ciao!
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